Katie Compa: Comedian

Eurotrip: Dublin - Guinness Storehouse

I went to the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin. I really needed a drink after the Gaol, and I’ve never done the Guinness tourist thing. The last time I came to Ireland I wasn’t old enough to drink. (Well, I was old enough in Ireland, but it was a school-sponsored trip, and they took great pains to forbid us from drinking, because the year before a couple of people got alcohol poisoning and/or lost their virginity in Italy & Greece. Catholic school: Totally worth the investment in your daughter’s chastity. Nope!)

Spoiler alert: We drank anyway. Sorry, Mrs. Boyd! (Sorry, Mom.)

…It was kinda lame. They lost me when they told us we were standing inside an eight-story Guinness pint glass (Dudes. If we’re standing in it, it’s empty. Snooze!). There’s not even a tour, just videos of some dude who works at Guinness, and he gets to go to the actual brewery and we just stand around watching him, Qui-Gon Jinn hologram-style, and walking past some brewery items that are pretty much labeled “this is what it WOULD look like if…” Bo-ring. I ended up getting a coffee at the second-floor coffee bar (?!) and sitting around for an hour. Disappointment was compounded by the following:

Dear Guinness: WHY IS CARSON DALY IN YOUR MUSEUM? WHY DO YOU WANT TO DESTROY THE THINGS I LOVE? (To clarify: I mean your beer, not Carson Daly. Seriously, wipe it from the books.)

However,they do have a whole floor where you can watch all of the Guinness ad campaigns around the world (did you know they have a brewery in Africa?) and look at all the novelty items throughout the generations. They have so much awesome stuff in the exhibit that they pretty much guarantee you’ll be disappointed with the store merchandise and any tchotchkes you currently own. I love those toucans.

“We just adorably stole beer!”

I was also fairly charmed by the bar at the top where you get a “perfect pint” (the Queen of England visited when she went to Ireland too, but she didn’t drink her pint. What a waste). They drew a shamrock in it! All is forgiven!

Guinnuccino!

Anyway, it was arguably worth it for the ad campaigns and the bar. It’s pretty nice if you can get a seat.

Awwww. Now MOVE OVER!

Also, now that I’ve seen it done perfectly, when bartenders pour my pint wrong, I get real bitchy. Plus ça change.